Oops I Did it Again!

I have been premenstrual these past few days, and although this blog is not going to be about my period and cramps and tampons and whatever else you don't want to hear about, it is going to be about my brain and PMS...well kinda. My point, is consider yourself warned. If you don't want to hear about it, stop reading.

In my weight loss journey (again I hate that expression - I am open to suggestions - Jacquie, that means you :P) I have noticed that I work on a cycle, I lose big one week, and then I hover at the same number, and then I go down, then I go up, and then it starts over. As you may have guessed this cycle matches my menstrual cycle. Surprisingly it has taken me a VERY long time to figure this out. It doesn't match exactly as one may think, the week I go up is the week before my period. That dreaded week before. I don't think that I change too much, I don't get super bitchy or overly emotional (although that may be because I am ALWAYS overly emotional), but in that stereotypical "watch out she's PMSing" way, I am pretty level.

Except for eating.

I lose my friggin' head! I want junk, and I want it now. And for the most part I do treat myself, if I want a donut, I get donut during this time...because I have the will power of a stick of gum (hmmm maybe that's unfair to a stick of gum). Anyway, as I was saying I will let myself have something and usually too often, but I don't go hog wild as I have in the past. Except this week. I have lost my mind to food. Louise, my boss's wife who is always commending my willpower and then bringing me treats while apologizing for it at the same time, brought me a box of her homemade fudge on Monday. A part of my brain said once she leaves, throw it out. Toss it. Anything to not eat it. But the other side of my brain won. And I ate not one but probably close to a dozen pieces of fudge that day. I gross myself out. And we're not even going to talk about peanut butter. But this is what I am talking about. I need to learn to control my brain during that week. It's not even a full week really, it's a few measly days. Working on self control and listening to the universe.

The universe is trying to help me. I swear it's true. On Tuesday I decided that I wanted a donut. I wanted the candy cane donut at Tim Horton's. In fact, I wanted two. So I ordered one. I drive back to the office sit down at my desk, open up coffee and then open the bag to try that minty chocolaty deliciousness and (*insert sound of a record scratching to a halt*) inside the bag was a honey cruller. Boo urns. So what did I do. I ate it. I ATE IT! Why? That's when I should listen. Throw it out. It's not what you wanted. Wait and go and get what you wanted. But no I ate it. That's not the first time that has happened to me at Tim Horton's. It happened last time they had a specialty donut that I wanted to try. I think that's the universe telling me, don't eat it. You don't need it. But I don't listen. Yesterday I went and got gas, when I went into the station to pay I picked up one of those 100 calorie Cadbury bars (at least my bad choices are getting better), so the guy rings through my purchase on my MasterCard and I am about to leave and he realizes that he hadn't scanned the chocolate bar. That would have been the perfect opportunity to say, "it's OK, I didn't need it anyway". Do I do that? Nope, I dig at the bottom of my purse to scrounge the change together to buy it. I could go on about me not listening to the universe, or whatever it is, but I won't. Just know that I am working on it.

I am going to listen.

I am listening.

Oh! And I am still going to treat myself just not daily.

Possibly the Nicest Gift Ever

Friday night was our Chub Club Christmas party. We all wore our jammies, we had a pot luck dinner, a visit from Santa, and a secret Santa gift exchange.

My secret Santa was Renee, my room mate (flat mate, house mate...whatever you prefer). She gave me a Starbucks gift card and some lip gloss, both practical and awesome! But the creme de la creme, she gave me her old Cabbage Patch Kid (Jessica), dressed in a Biggest Loser T-Shirt with Harvey and the #1 on the back, yoga pants, and a black head band (like I wear to yoga, the gym, etc).

When I opened the box and saw the Cabbage Patch Kid, my eyes instantly welled up with tears.


Now you may say, "Jenn, you're 33 years old. What's the deal with the Cabbage Patch Kid?" A few years ago, my parents had a house fire and the contents of the basement were pretty much all lost. Included in those things were my Carebear, my Cabbage Patch Kid and Cabbage Patch Kid Preemie.


I remember vividly the day that I got my Cabbage Patch Kid (Tiffany Amber). My Mum hadn't been able to get her hands on them at Christmas time, so when they were in at Consumers Distributing she picked them up. That day I went straight from school to Becky Johnson's birthday party (where her brother was pretending to be Michael Jackson). From that party I went home briefly before heading to Sarah Bryme's birthday party (which was a sleep over and we watched Indian Jones). The important part is the stop at home in the middle. I went up to my bedroom and there was Tiffany Amber, on my bed waiting. My Cabbage Patch Kid. Finally. So although I try very hard to not be too pack ratty, my Cabbage Patch Kid was one of those things I had held onto. And although far more important things were lost in the fire (poor sweet Dottie), it was just that part of my childhood that was gone too.


So that Renee gave me her Cabbage Patch Kid touched me. The other thing about it was that she had dressed it like me. And made a Biggest Loser T-shirt for it (apparently finding the clothes to fit it was quite difficult). Renee has been so supportive in my weight loss "journey" (I hate that expression) and that T-shirt when I saw it, it just brought everything I have done into perspective. 69lbs to date. That's awesome.


And that is why it was possibly the nicest gift ever.

Twilight

Is it wrong that I wish I had a beaultiful and charming vampire boyfriend?

Just checking.

Yogi

I did the coolest thing at yoga last night and just wanted to share. I did a wheel pose (see picture...it's not me, it's the pose. But if you would like to believe that it is me, I will accept this).

OK, so I didn't do it quite like in the picture, I was assisted. So instead of having my hands on the ground, I was holding Gerald's ankles! But I did it!

When I started to come out of the pose I did thunk my head on the ground, but that was OK.

Maybe my Mum was right, maybe I am turning into an athlete. HAHAHA! OK, maybe not.

Some Like it Hot!

And when I say hot, I mean HOT!

On Monday evening I attended my first hot yoga class at the brand new Moksha Yoga studio here in Burlington. As an opening special all classes are free this week. Gerald (my yoga instructor - normal temperature...the room that is, not sure if he is normal temperatured or not) is now teaching at Moksha, so I thought I would try out a class. And as I was feeling particularly brave, I went, alone.

By the time I arrived at Moksha, a whooping 5 minute drive from my house I was incredibly nervous. I walked in very apprehensive. I approached the desk where two cute yogi girls were chatting and said "um, hi, I'm here for the class" and then blurted "and I'm really nervous". They both laughed, you know the sympathetic, "don't be silly" laugh. One of these girls happened to be Erin, the instructor, and because I was early (on the advice of a friend to acclimatize to the heat before the class started), I was given a tour of the venue, met the owner, learned about the edible cleaner used for disinfecting the room after every class, and started to relax.

I changed into my hot yoga gear (aka tank top and shorts) and started to set up my mat, at the back of the room of course. I had brought a beach towel per the instructions on the website, so after setting up my mat I waited, wondering what to do with the towel. I didn't have to wait long before other students arrived. They were obviously much more versed in hot yoga, set up their mats, laid their towels over top of their mats and laid down into savasana. So I followed suit. And waited.

Finally the class start, there were more than 60 people in the room when I opened my eyes. The class started with a welcome and a warning, if you ever feel overwhelmed by the heat, please lie down. At this point, as I do, I was looking around the room and thinking, man, I am the biggest person here. Boo urns.

We are working through the standing poses and as we get into the Warrior series I hear this weird whooshing noise and I look at the girl next to me trying to figure out why her breathing just went all Darth Vader like, then realized it wasn't her...it was in my ears! I glanced around the room, saw that no one else was having any issues and thought, man, I am the biggest person here AND the only one who has to sit it out a minute. The room started to spin a little so I quickly laid down resolving the I REALLY didn't want to be the one who passed out!

I made it through the rest of the class, sweating more in that hour that I think I have in my entire life. It was unbelievable from the forward bend watching the sweat drip from my nose onto my towel to a completely soaked shirt. I still can't get over it.

And I LOVED it!

It's taken me so long to finish this post that I have actually been to 3 more classes at Moksha Burlington and am participating in their Energy Exchange Program, which I work there for a few hours a week and I can attend classes for free. Yah!

I guess I like it hot.

A Couple of Words

If I write a couple of words here I will officially have started the blog that has been sitting here lonely, waiting.

It just starts with a couple of words. This I am sure is true of many things. But here and now, it is about my blog.

I like to write and ramble and secretly imagine people everywhere are reading it, which there wasn't much to read until now. But now that there is people will be reading it and thinking, this girl with the blue room isn't she witty and charming. It's fun to dream. I am not sure anyone will read it, but that's OK too. It's a way of getting it out. In high school I would write "poetry" and in university I would write "songs" (both in quotations as I use those terms loosely) and now in my dirty thirties, I will blog it out.

I signed up for this blog back in June or July before I moved to my current home. I had just chosen the colour for my new bedroom, can you guess what colour it is?

There it is.
A couple of words.